incorrect-harry-potter-quotes:

Sirius: Who the fuck-

McGonagall: Language, Black.

Sirius: Whom the fuck-

McGonagall: No.

rynnay:

unclewhiskysrevenge:

So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

This was a thrill from start to finish

amor:

My phone: *incoming call*
Me: 🔫👀

eenuttings:

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?